At midlife, you can run, blow things up, marry a younger woman, lie about using porn or fall into whatever numbing distraction you like, but you can’t hide.
The Void is coming for you, and it will catch you.
What’s the Void?
The unprocessed mess of your unpenetrated life.
Your unconscious emotional darkness.
By your mid-forties at the latest, your younger years’ avoidance tactics are no longer going to cut it. Firstly, because you won’t be able to keep up with the younger boys (your ego will want to, but your body won’t).
Also, your female partners won’t tolerate it. Perimenopause is a game-changer for everyone. But more importantly, your kids will show you exactly where you are stuck in habits, patterns and belief patterns that serve your egoic woundedness but stop you from fully supporting and seeing them.
Your unprocessed trauma will show up as anger.
Your unprocessed neglect will show up as addiction.
Your inability to communicate your needs will show up as macho-hero tactics or man-child silences that hurt everyone.
How do you penetrate this emotional swamp that lurks in your chest or bores into your belly every time life challenges you to feel and grow?
You need to feel everything. Especially the feelings you’ve been trying to avoid.
And, You. Must. Grow.
Clean out those joy-killing habits. Break down the enculturated wounding that’s told you to do it all on your own. Heal yourself in any way possible.
But if want the fast track, here’s a simple remedy:
1. Find a healed group of men and sit with them in circle. #Brotherhood
2. Find a body of work that supports you as a midlife man to grow exponentially.
3. Find your values and be accountable to them EVERYWHERE you go.
Penetrate that Void. It’s your inner life. It’s where you will find your elder power and the authenticity that makes you free.
You might not have made all of the mess from your past, but it’s yours to feel.
At mid-life, your inner life is yours to own.
© Lhamo 2023