It’s a big theme, the issue of men’s worthlessness. It’s a crusted layer of emotional chain mail over most middle-aged men’s hearts. It rears up as soon as men feel the safety and sanctuary of a men’s circle. It can release looking like denial, anger or resistance, but most of the time, it unleashes with a tsunami of tears.
But it’s not the truth of anything. So when there’s a man in circle, and it’s a few months (or years) in, and he’s still going on about his unworthiness, it’s boring.
There is nothing honest about men’s unworthiness because there is nothing true about it.
The unreleased pain under it might certainly be true, but the belief that men have, that silent crippling state of inadequacy that lets them justify their porn addictions, their lack of success or happiness, the years they spent blaming their partner (boss, father etc) for their own lack of emotional presence – none of that is caused by unworthiness. Unworthiness exists because of those things because you trusted your weakness rather than your personal honour code and adult conscience.
Your worth is intrinsic. It’s who you are. It’s always there. Claiming it and reclaiming it is a hallmark of a king.
You are unique, one in 8 billion, rare and strange fruit and NO ONE can love like you do. Your worth, like your value, like your love, like your heart, is priceless. It’s the bedrock of your masculine spirit, and if you want to call yourself a sovereign being, you are going to have to trust the truth about your intrinsic worth and take it as given.
Unworthiness belongs to your old, outdated, separating self, and it serves nothing.
There is nothing useful about it. Unworthiness is a shadow slave of your ego, the part of you that is always in comparison. Unworthiness feeds the diminished part of you that seeks excuses to stay in victim consciousness, the past or the hurts of your childhood.
There is no part of spiritual adulthood that has room for unworthiness.
The reason why staying in the rut of unworthiness is boring is that there is something way more interesting and truthful underneath it. It’s the artesian power of your egoless, humility, masculine power, grace and compassion. Unworthiness can excuse your arrogance, your righteousness, your regret, your lack of personal application, and your hiding. But your humble masculine presence, that raw, self-trusting, defenceless honesty within you – Wow. That’s something. It’s the stuff that creates miracles.
What do I say to men stuck in their past and stories of worthlessness? Stop it. It’s a habit and isn’t true.
Worthlessness is worthless. Bring your whole self into this present moment and breathe.
Act from your presence instead. You’re priceless.